Often I expect a lot from myself. Too much, in fact. I know this. But even with this knowledge, so often I still get angry, frustrated and depressed over what I haven’t accomplished. I forget about all the things I do accomplish in a given day.
I need to change the cycle. If I don’t, I will be one of those evil, angry women with a whip for a tongue. When I get angry or frustrated at myself, I lash out. My kids and my husband become fodder for my evil-mommy twin. I hear things come out of my mouth that make me feel ashamed. To finish off the cycle, my shame then causes me to feel more anger and frustration.
So, accomplishments: yesterday I kept my kids alive. In spite of cleaner being sprayed into mouths, jumping/falling incidents that caused bleeding mouths, cords around necks, etc, my girls are healthy and thriving. I’d like to think I have something to do with their survival. Speaking of survival, I’m also nursing an infant. She depends on me, my health and milk-production to be sustained. That’s a big deal, right?
Hhm... what else? I did the dishes, wiped up spills, changed diapers, got dressed (that’s important, but note I did not say “shower”), knit a little, soothed/nursed crying infant, went grocery shopping, held 20 month old while doctor cleaned out her ears, washed laundry, and made dinner for my family. Oh, and made my husband “happy.” =)
Dude, looking at all that, I would have to say I’m pretty awesome. Who freaking cares what I DIDN’T do? I rock like a hurricane.