Monday, April 1, 2013

I love my life, but I still need to cry

Well, it's been a roller coaster of a weekend.

My super awesome friend Megan came to visit (I love you my NBFF!!), that was a big "up" point.

My sisters and I had coffee, and I can always count on them to listen or bring me back to my sane place.

My husband is really cute, and is very sweet to me.

My kids had a sugar-rushed, friend & cousin-filled Easter, so they're pretty stoked to be alive.


Here's where it gets tricky. How do I, a very blessed woman, have a bad day? I mean, a REALLY bad day? Or weekend? Or week?

All it takes is one thing. One thing that everything else pivots upon. Something you've staked your happiness in, and wished for, and prayed for... and then it's gone. It's a "just kidding" moment. I used to work with this girl who would always say, "That's NOT a funny JOKE" when things didn't go her way. I often use her tone when speaking to God on days such as this.

It's hard not to get trapped in that thought process. Do you then feel sorry for yourself and crawl into a hole? Or do you get up and take pictures of your kids eating candy and smile and enjoy life anyway?

I choose life. I enjoy my family and everything I have, right this minute.


It doesn't go away. There's still that thing that upset you, and it has to be dealt with, wrestled with, offered to heaven in exchange for something better perhaps...

Don't ignore. Do what you need to do. Cry in the shower. Weed the hell out of your garden. Shave your entire body. Knit a sweater.

Just don't scream at your kids or forget to eat. Neither is healthy, nor helpful. (Speaking from experience here)

As women, mothers, wives; it's really hard to deal, isn't it? We count our blessings and often decide we don't have any right to be sad. We push through because we don't want our kids to see us upset, or we don't want anyone to pity us. We're strong! We pushed babies out of our vaginas and we feel like we can take anything!

True, but there's strength in admitting we need a hug. Or a time out. Or a glass of wine and a minute to think. There's strength in a prayer for help. Or an admission that you're not okay.

Take the help, relax into that hug, and wait for an answer. I'm right there with you.