“Yes, I have a tattoo AND I’m a mom!”
Though the character in the movie from which I’m quoting really only means that she has a tattoo, and she’s also a mother, I wonder about the deeper implications of those words.
I DON’T have a tattoo. But I do have marks that permanently reside with me; I have scars, experiences, and regrets. And I took them with me into motherhood. It’s incredulous that some people, even some mothers, assume that when one ventures into marriage and/or motherhood, one leaves behind one’s past. Poof! Gone, just like that. But though we change our “name,” we remain who we’ve always been. Whoever that may be.
So does this have any bearing on who we are or who we want to become? Does it keep us from really living the life we desire? I think, yes, sometimes it does.
Although a physical tattoo really shouldn’t make a difference in our role as wives and mothers, certainly the past behind it may. And emotional “tattoos” work the same way. An experience may just be that--an experience. Or, it may have been a pivotal shaping moment in our lives. The past may butt heads with the present. And being at war within our “selves” doesn’t seem like a constructive way to live. Especially as women who are shaping the minds and personalities and values of those tiny people who sleep in the next room.
So, where do we, where do I, go from here?
Well, for now, potty-training and nap time. Anything past that will have to wait for another blog entry.