Stitch Fix: Box of Pretties

Does this girl ever do anything else? Is she maybe a little obsessed with this silly Stitch Fix stuff?

Maybe. 

I do other stuff, obvi. I'm a mom. If all I did was try on clothes, my kids would be dirty, malnourished and without clean attire.

But maybe I am a little bit obsessed.

Well, just very interested. 

I like it.

So I got another box yesterday! In it was a plethora of pretty. I got 3 tops, a dress, and a pair of white jeans. All hand picked for me by my stylist, Soo. 

First, white cuffed boyfriend jeans by Kut from the Kloth. I love them. I normally think this brand runs big, but these are fitting me perfectly. They are nice and stretchy and thick enough that I don't feel self conscious about my panty-choices... knowwhatimean? I tried them on initially with this gray hi-low tee I got in a prior "fix."

Next, this really pretty abstract tank by Brixon Ivy. It's so soft. It's like air. Unfortunately, it's dry clean only, and I'm not sure it can come to live with me. Maybe a little too high maintenance for a mom of four?? But it's super cute with the white jeans....

It has a gray knit back.

This is probably my (unexpected) favorite. This cobalt blue lace-detail top by Papermoon. I really would never think to wear this color, but when I put it on, I feel amazing. If you recall, there was another cobalt blue top in another box, and I didn't buy it. I regret that, but I'm so glad they sent this one. I feel fancy and casual all at once, which is very "me."

Look! The back dips into a "v." Nice. 

I really like it with the jeans too, but I don't think I'm keeping these. Only because I have some Gap cash to spend this month and I'll probably get some decent white jeans from there. The cost will be a lot less and I like their new straight leg fit. The Kut from the Kloth jeans are $78. That's not outrageous for jeans, but for these particular ones it's just not going to happen. Sad though. 

Next, I tried on this printed detail henley by Market & Spruce. I initially loved this top, but I don't love it so much on me. I tend to gravitate to this brand, and I normally like this neckline, but I just think the other tops were much more flattering.

I like the length and the hem line. Cute... but I think the blue top overshadowed it. And a girl's gotta make choices.

And then this dress!!! Bird print!!! Perfect fit!!! It's fully-lined too. And just so stinking adorable. But I'm not keeping it. Sigh. The material just seems a little scratchy or cheap or something. And then today I noticed a little run/snag thing on the skirt, and I can't pay $68 for it. **big sad face here** But even still, I'm happy with this pick. I hope I get more dresses in this sillouette. I think it suits me better than the maxi dresses I've been getting. 

Also, doesn't my feather necklace look cute with it? I got it for my birthday from my amazing mother-in-law. 

So I think I'm only keeping the blue top, you guys! I really almost kept the whole entire box, because I liked all of it and with the 25% discount for keeping all five items, it would have been a steal. Also, big thank you to all who have signed up with Stitch Fix via my link!! I have a little credit for this fix and that is amazing!!

If you want your own box of pretty clothes from Stitch Fix, you can click here or on the logo below! Also, I'd love to know what you get and how you like the service when you get your first fix in the mail. 

Happy Hump Day!

~ Char

A Birthday Stitch Fix and Tips for a Better Box

I promise I've started writing "real" blog posts between these silly Stitch Fix ones, but it's harder to finish those deep-thoughty thoughts. It takes time -- uninterrupted time. Of which I have little.

So I bring you another Stitch Fix unboxing, because I can. And I like to. And it's my birthday. 

This box literally came ON my birthday, which was a Wednesday and for the most part just a normal mom-day. But I got a box in the mail! Happy birthday to me! I opened it right away and tried everything on.

Look! Pretty things! This box included two tops, a pair of jeans, a dress, and a necklace. I've since gone back into to my style profile and edited it to omit jewelry from my boxes for now. I'd much rather have clothes, and I'm just too picky when it comes to jewelry (and I don't like paying much for it).

Ok, on to the pieces!!

First I tried on the jeans. They are the Aaron Distressed Skinny Jeans by Just Black, size 27. I was a little thrown off, because though the style card said they were a skinny jean, the tag on the item said they were a straight leg fit. Whatever, it didn't matter much because I didn't like the fit of these on me. I've never tried this brand before, so maybe that was it; or it could've just been that the fit was just wrong for my body. I dunno. They were tight. They fit more like a size 2, and not a 4. And they were too long. And they were about $80. So for uncomfortable pants that I'd have to hem myself: that's a no.

But I'll show you anyway. I actually really liked the color and the distressing:

I put on the yellow Sicily Pintuck Detail Silk Top by Daniel Rainn with the jeans. I really love yellow, and I really wanted to keep this!! Plus, silk. Yummy. 

But it was so sheer, you guys. And really pricey. 

I put it on, took it off, and then put it back on again, because I loved it. I loved the color, and the style was adorable. But, 1.) Pricey, like $78 pricey. I don't pay that much for shirts, 2.) The sleeves were cap-sleeves and made me look really broad through the shoulders, and the shape of the body was lacking in....shape. Not very flattering, and 3.) Sheer. I'd have to wear a cami, and I'm too lazy for that. Also, if I'm going to pay almost $80 for a shirt, it better not need another shirt to make it wearable.

So with much regret, it went back to the Stitch Fix Mecca.

Next was the maxi dress! Another maxi, and I was looking forward to this one. As you may recall, my last fix had a maxi in it which ended up being too big. This one fit perfectly, since I changed my sizing for dresses in my style profile. 

Perfect length!! Here's another, a little closer so you can see the fit and the necklace they sent me as well:

This is the Papermoon Waters Printed Maxi Dress, size small. It's so soft. It fits nicely. But I'm not loving the colorful aztecian pattern. Also, sorry about my face. It's really kind of Disney villianesque here. I really am enjoying myself. 

And the final item, the Market and Spruce Floral Print Sleeveless Top. It's the perfect color red. It's not patriotic red, or cherry red, or superman red; it's like Hawaii, hot summer nights, I'm the coolest girl in the room red. That's just my opinion though. 

I've taken off the Just Black jeans, and am trying this on with my Mavi distressed jeans. I like it. Here's a better pic:

It's longer in the back, I like that. And the fabric is breathable and lightweight without being at all sheer. Winner!!

It makes me happy. I kept this and only this. I was really hoping I'd love everything in this box, because I pretty much had my husband's permission to buy the whole lot for my birthday. And I like to take advantage of such opportunities. 

Oh, this top was around $40, minus my $20 styling fee, so it was like $24 with tax. Not bad, not bad at all. I wore it the next day to my hair appointment.

So that's really it, folks. But before I sign off, I wanted to give a few tips on how to get great fixes.

Stitch Fix is obviously a company that, sight unseen, styles you, a complete stranger with unique likes and dislikes. Even if they have the most scientific formulaic statistical whatever and the best stylists in the world, they are not going to "get you" 100% every single time. Plus, their resources are limited, and you have a budget.

But here are some ways to make sure (or, mostly sure) you will get a box of amazing stuff that you love, that fits, and that you can afford. The goal should be to buy at least one item, and love it, so you don't "waist" your $20 styling fee (though it's not really a complete waist, as you've just been sent a free box of clothes to try on at your leisure, yes?).

Here it is:

1.) Be honest about your size, and remember these are women's sizes, not juniors, so if you're typically a medium in tops at Forever21, you may be a size small. Also, I find dress sizing to run on the small side. I was a small in women's tops, but a medium in dresses still at a size 6. Often you'll figure all of this out as you go, though. But be aware you may have to tweak your sizes now and then.

2.) Give really detailed feedback for each item. You have limited space on the feedback form, so use it wisely. Be specific about why you didn't like something, or if you did like it, why you didn't buy it. That may seem like the same thing, but it's not. The details matter. You could say something like, "Maxi dresses are not for me, please stop sending them." Or you could say, "The fit was perfect, but I hate busy patterns. I prefer neutral colors and patterns." Remember, you're not there to stroke any one's ego, but be polite too. It's a fine line.

3.) If you keep getting fixes you don't like, go back to your style profile and switch some things around. Change it up. Seriously, just start changing around your likes and dislikes, set it to include jewelry or accessories (like purses), or cut those things out. You can set it to include only dresses, or only pants. You can choose colors you do not want to see in your boxes, or fabrics you don't want, etc. after a few polyester fails, I just set my profile to not include polyester. 

4.) Be honest about your budget. If you want the lowest cost in your fixes that they can possibly find for you, tell them! You can mark "The cheaper the better" for everything the send in your profile. If they happen to squeak something in your box that you think is overpriced, let them know in your feedback. You can also tell your stylist that you prefer the total cost of the box to be under "x" amount, that way you can budget for it, just in case you really fall in love with everything. 

I don't know if that's just more confusing or helpful. Hopefully the latter. Either way, I enjoyed this box, and I love this service! It's fun and I love unwrapping stuff, whether it's my birthday or not. 

If you want to give it a try, you can click here to sign up and I will get a small credit on my account when your first box ships! Thanks you guys, and have a great weekend!

An Easter Stitch Fix

I got another Stitch Fix box!

I actually emailed the company because I had skipped my fix last month, and because March was the absolute worst (four kids, stomach flu and double pink-eye for 3 weeks), I was really needing a pick-me-up. Anyway, I asked them to send me my April fix just a little early. 

They very generously acquiesced, and I got it one week early.

I did get a fix for February, but I didn't document it. It wasn't terrible, but it wasn't awesome. I had asked for a flirty dress for Valentine's Day. I got a very heavy black dress with faux leather detailing, and I didn't even try it on. It was very nice and great quality, but not only could I not see myself wearing it in the upcoming spring, but my husband is not a fan of the faux leather trend.... And let's face it, I wanted a dress he would like to see me wear.

I kept one top out of that box, and while I initially didn't think I liked it at all, I ended up loving it! In fact, I wore it yesterday. It's a multi-colored chevron print dolman top by ReneeC (made in the USA):

I honestly would never have tried this on in the store. But once I tried it on, I didn't want to take it off. It's so soft and comfortable, and my husband immediately had positive things to say. It was a keeper.

Ok, on to my April fix! Here's a look at my invoice, style cards, and note from my stylist: 

As you can sort of see here (sorry for the blurry pic), I got a dress, a pair of skinny jeans, and 3 tops.

First, I tired on the dress. It's the Tenessy Maxi Dress by Angie, and I loved it. You guys. So soft. So stretchy. Super flattening. Last time I tried on a dress in this style, with that elastic waist bunching, I was not pleased. I had just had a baby, and it just kind of cut into my tummy pouch, and it was far from amazing. I don't know if it's the dress or me, but I loved this one:

The only problem is that it's a size medium, and I haven't changed my style profile to size small for dresses, and this is just a little too big. Even still, I seriously thought I might keep it. But in the end, if it wasn't exactly right I didn't want to spend the money. But the length is so perfect, isn't it?? I could wear flat sandals with it without stepping on the hem! Sigh. I sent it back.

The next items are the Kut from the Kloth Denna Skinny Jeans in light wash, and the Skies are Blue Keyhole Detail Blouse in Cobalt.

I don't love the bright cobalt color of the top, and the cut reminds me of business wear, but I tried it on. The stylist suggested I wear it with the (shown) Kut from the Kloth skinnies, with some gold accessories for a night out. I actually liked the top a lot better once I put it on. The fit is perfect. The color is beautiful. Still not "me." I can't really explain it. But it is a gorgeous top. Here's another angle, and you can see a close up of the neck detail; and you can see the back of the jeans as well:

So these jeans. They are okay. I don't know what it is about this brand, but the sizing always seems so huge. These are a size 4, and although the they don't look that huge, they are. They definitely feel like a 6 with room. They are very soft, very stretchy, and if only they were smaller and about 6 inches shorter, they would have been perfect. Yes, I rolled them up a lot for these pictures. They were really bunchy at my ankles, and that's not pretty.

Needless to say, I didn't keep either of these items. Now, on to the final two! Spoiler alert, I kept both of these tops:

First, the Papermoon Croatia Lace Bib Top. When I opened this box, I was wearing another top by Papermoon that I'd gotten in a previous Fix. I must really like this brand. And this one...it's perfect. I have been looking for a casual flowy top to wear with distressed jeans, and maybe shorts in the summer, and this one fits my criteria:

My only complaint, is the sheerness of it. But that can be remedied by a cami. It's a nice weight, great drape, and I love the lace detailing. It's also more of an antique white, and I love that.

Ok, the next one is kind of similar in style. The RD Style Embroidery Detail Top is so pretty too. However, initially I didn't think it would work for me, as these types of sleeveless tops can make even the most narrow-shouldered woman look like a line-backer. But it worked for me! And I love the embroidery detailing.

I have a visitor. And I wish I'd tried these tops on with my own jeans; I feel like these jeans are growing bigger with each photo.

She won't leave. I'm ignoring her. Here's a close up of the neckline:

And that's all, folks! The tops were in the $40-50 range, and with the $20 styling fee deduction, and some leftover credit on my account, I only paid about $24 for each top! So thank you to every one who signed up using my affiliate link!

If you haven't signed up yet, or you did sign up but haven't scheduled a fix yet, I really recommend the service. Click here to try it for yourself! 

Obviously, there's no obligation to continue or "commit" after you try it, if you decide it's not for you. Read my last post for more information on the service and why I love it.

Thanks for reading, friends, and Happy Easter weekend!

Stitch Fix Unboxing: Marked Up Mommy Style

Warning: I'm a mom. This blog post will not contain amazing fashion blog-style photos or perfect hair and make up. I use my iPhone 4s to take selfies and that's not ideal, I understand this. Now that you've been warned, I will continue.

I got my 6th Stitch fix box today!! It's exciting, it's fun, it's like a present, man. And I love presents.

But aside from the present thing, there are a few practical reasons why I continue to get regular Stitch Fix boxes.

I'm a mom of 4 kids. 2 of my kids are in school, one is preschool age, and the baby is 10 months. I bring this up for two reasons: first, my body has been altered. I am no longer a size 4, flat-chested, no lumps or bumps kind of girl. I can't just pull an outfit off the rack at the Gap and look amazing in it. I. Must. Try. Things. On. Annoying, I know, but there it is, the life of a grown woman.

This brings me to the second reason I bring up my state of parenthood. I literally can't successfully shop (i.e., try on clothes) without some kind of break down. And I'm not talking about my 4 year old. So I end up snagging a few cute things when I can, trying them on at home, then making a trip back to the mall to make returns or exchanges because (of course) something(s) didn't work like I expected them to.

What's worse is sometimes I'm too busy, or tired, or I just refuse to go back and make a return with my two adorable children who are hell-bent on keeping me from ever having a decent pair of jeans. I used to love shopping. Sigh.

But I digress.

My box came and it looked like this:

Isn't it cute?? Ok, it's just a box. I know, just humor me. But then I opened it, and it looks like this:

What you see here is the instructions on the upper box flap, and then everything you see when you open it. There's a card from my stylist and an invoice in the envelope, there's a postage paid mailer to send back whatever I don't keep, and then my stack of clothes wrapped in tissue. I usually look in the envelope first. Some people avoid looking at the prices until they check out their items, but I just can't. Price is definitely a factor for me, and I don't want to fall in love with something that's way out of my budget. What's great about this service, however, is that if your boxes are too expensive for your liking (I expect at least one item to be priced above average), you can leave appropriate feedback when you check out online. Next time, they will know that a $70 shirt just isn't going to make you a happy lady. 

So here's everything:

Ahhh!!! Look at my stuff!! (Please excuse the blurry phone pic)

In this box, I got a gray stretchy hi-lo tee by Market and Spruce, a soft jersey knit cardigan by Splendid, a pair of boyfriend jeans by Kut from the Kloth, a striped knit infinity scarf, and a soft knit hoodie top thing by Sanctuary. What I love about these brands is that a lot of them are made in the USA or are local boutique brands. 

I love that all the clothes come with styling cards, to give you an idea of how to wear each piece (for fashion novices such as myself). You have 3 days to figure out what you want to keep, so spend that time trying the clothes on with other items in your wardrobe. I'm lucky because my boxes have been coming on a Thursday or Friday, and the 3 day rule doesn't apply to the weekend. So I usually have until Monday to "check out."

Here's my pretty clothes as they came to me:

The gray tee is hiding in there between the jeans and the blue cardigan. 

I did try things on, so you can see how they look on. However, remember my pictures are super lame. I'm sharing them anyway because it's good motivation for me to upgrade my phone or use a better location for next time. 

I took a shower. I worked out, so I really needed a shower, but then I didn't have time to do anything with my hair or face because I had dumped the baby on my husband who was supposed to be working from home that day. He was very happy about that. 

Here's the Market & Spruce tee and the boyfriend jeans. I've been seeing this tee show up in other fixes and have wanted it for so long. I'm keeping it. Soft, stretchy, flattering. Looks like it will wear well and can be dressed up or down.

The jeans are super comfortable and fit perfectly. Although $78 isn't a terrible price for nice denim, I have a couple pairs of boyfriend jeans that I love right now, and so I don't need these. 

Next was the scarf. I went and threw it on with this same outfit: 

Not the best angle, but it's just a basic infinity scarf. Great piece and would go with quite a lot, but I don't need it. I got a lot of scarves for Christmas. Also, I can't help but think I could knit this myself quite easily.

Next, the hoodie:

I probably would have kept this is it wasn't almost $80. For a top. I would easily spend that on a nice dress or a pair of jeans, but this is a thin knit hoodie in a strange orangey color. So, no thank you. It's a very nice brand and made in the USA, hence the price. I might look around elsewhere for something similar as this could work well in the summer for vacations on the lake. I did like it, just not enough.

Next, another very pricey, almost $80 cardigan:

Splendid is a great brand. The fabric was amazingly nice, so soft and stretchy. But again, not worth the price to me. Just a basic tab-sleeve cardigan, nothing fancy or unique about it.

So let's break it down. The Stitch Fix service fee is $20. I paid that when they shipped the box to me (linked to my debit card). However, if I purchase something in the box, I deduct that fee from the total price. You can look at it two ways: either the service really ends up being free, or you are getting an item for $20 off the retail price. Then, if you decide to buy the whole box of items (and I did once), you get 25% off the entire purchase, plus the $20 deduction for the fee you already paid. If you love it all, it really does end up being worth it. If I had bought this whole box, the jeans would have been free. 

If you don't like anything, or nothing fits (this has never happened to me), you are out the $20 styling fee. It's a gamble, but the odds are really in your favor.

So, all I kept this time was the gray tee but I love it. It was a $44 top, minus the $20 fee, so $24 for a top that I love, that I didn't have to search for among racks of items with kids climbing through my legs or yelling because they are hungry. I also didn't make any impulse purchases on stuff I didn't need or didn't end up fitting because I was too overwhelmed to even try anything on.

Completely worth it. Completely.

If you want to try the service out, feel free to use my referal link. I do get a little credit if you sign up and get a fix shipped to you. Click here --->

Also, thanks for reading this lengthy blog post. Next time I will give you prettier photos. Or maybe I won't. Now you know this is me. I'm really a busy mom who barely has time to shower. Or take pictures outside while roses bloom to my right. Or when the lighting is perfectly aligned with the arch of my cheekbone. 

You're welcome, and happy Stitch Fixing!

Once Upon a Time

Once upon a time, there was a girl. She loved to cook. She loved to eat. Se loved to dine.

When the girl got married, she lovingly cooked dinner for her husband, nearly every night. She delighted in making grocery lists and menus. She tried new dishes and experimented with different ingredients every week.

And dare I say, she was a fabulous cook? Her meals were delicious, rich, and enjoyable. And each stir, chop, baste and broil -- done with love and care. Not only did she love the food she worked with, she loved serving it and watching others enjoy it.

She enjoyed eating too! Soon, she became schooled in wines and how to pair them with food, and she delighted in pouring a glass to sip and savor while eating a lovely meal with her husband or whomever she had cooked for.

The secret that the girl kept to herself (most of the time), was that cooking was never work for her; never did it feel like a chore. When life got her down, or minor stressors of the day wore her out, she cooked. When she was sad, or feeling lonely, she cooked. When she was bored, or needed a creative outlet, she cooked.

In about 9 years, this "foodie" girl would be a mother to 4 young children. She'd always longed to be a mommy, to have babies with the love of her life; and she was living her dream.

But a love for cooking and babies do not coexist. They simply cannot. She did not know this. She still tries to make menus, between scoldings and naps. But most of the time no menu is made; and new recipes are no longer a luxury. She abides by what is tried and true. Even so, no meal is made and eaten laudably. The little diners voice their concerns and discontent without hesitation. They are not intrigued by delicate herbs, and they don't seem to appreciate the sear of the meat. Don't they know, color is flavor? Or is color instead poison, and she was the one who had been misinformed?

Once upon a time, wine was an intentional addition to a meal. Now, a glass is poured while the cooking ensues, as the baby pulls her legs and cries to be held. She doesn't take the time to swirl and smell, instead she sips...sips...sips some more, and cuddles the baby after the pan is deglazed and the butter is no longer spatting. Cooking has become a mixture of stress and fear. Fear of kids getting burned, stress that the meal will burn while she races to save the baby from consuming the cat's food, more fear as the little ones make loud noises upstairs and she worries for their safety as the food sizzles and she must choose between overdone root vegetables and her children.

She still loves to cook. If you ask her, she will say so. But cooking is not what it used to be, and neither is eating. She serves all, makes a quick plate, then there is a call for drinks, and she gets the drinks too. They don't care whether their milk pairs well with their pasta. She finally sits, maybe nurses her baby while gingerly balancing a bite over her child (fear -- is it okay to eat hot food over a baby's head?) and into her hungry mouth.

Her husband, the love of her life, is always pleased with the meal, but often adds extra salt. And she wonders if it was because she had to fish cat food from the baby's cheek when she would have otherwise been testing the dish for flavor. But all is well, because she always gets a kiss, and a thank you, and a compliment. He knows it's harder now, than it used to be. He remembers, too, the romantic meals with ambiance and eye contact. But he's grateful that she still cooks, and she still tries to get creative when she otherwise might be calling for take-out, because she knows something...

One day the kids will be grown, and cooking will be easy and maybe fun again, and romantic meals may not be so hard to come by. And the babies will be gone. And there will be no more complaints from picky palates; but there will also no longer be silly giggles, and baby snuggles, and washing little hands, and a sense of accomplishment when they all liked dinner and ate it. And life will be quiet again. And cooking will be fun again. But the kids will be gone.

And the Once Upon a Time Girl will be older, and the story of the past will be the story of how once dinner was complicated, and cooking was a struggle, and babies were under foot, and life was crazy and equally wonderful. And she will miss it. So all the mess, and stress, and fear, and ungratefulness, and under-seasoned entree, and balancing of baby and bite, it's all worth it.

Because this is her life, this is her dream come true.

Three Girls and The Boy

We call him "The Boy." Even the girls do it now.

After three beautiful baby girls, I never thought we'd have a boy. If you read back in my blog entries, you will find a post on my "gender disappointment" upon finding out we were having our third daughter, Ivey. Our crazy, wild, amazing Ivey-girl. We love her.

Still, it took some finesse, convincing my husband we could have one more. Just ONE. Four kids would be it, I promised. Still, Ivey was well past her 3rd birthday when we conceived. A four year gap wasn't what I'd had in mind, but having the girls smooshed into existence within a three-year time frame was busy. Very busy. And tiring.

And as much as I wanted him, a son, a boy for my husband, a brother for my daughters... AS MUCH AS I LONGED FOR IT... I knew there would always be something else, who knew what, that I would also want, that I would beg for, that I would be sure would make me truly happy. It's a horrible, but all too familiar cycle that we humans insist on putting ourselves through.

I didn't want to admit I could really think that way, but I knew it was true. And before we had or attempted to have our little fourth being, I knew I had to be okay with a girl. Not just okay, but ready, willing, wanting another girl. I would not go into this pregnancy like the last one. I would not allow myself to grieve a girl.

And so I prayed. Prayer is often not for the One we pray to, as much as it's a way for our own hearts to settle; a way for us to love Him and so love ourselves. A way for us to show willingness to be changed.

So I prayed that I would have a baby. Not a boy, or a girl, just a baby. God knew my heart. I could not deceive Him, even if I'd tried. And my wants changed.

I became grateful. I saw my girls, and the joy they brought, and the love they shared, and the differences they each brought to our world, and I knew I'd be happy with another. Another PERSON. People are mysterious, and amazing, and unique, and that God has allowed us to make them just blows my mind.

But this time, we had that boy. And you know what? He isn't the end-all. I'm not "complete" with him  because he's a boy. I love him so much that it hurts -- because he's my baby.

And part of me is a little angry at the stranger in the grocery store for making that insightful, albeit thoughtless,

comment: "Three girls and one boy! You finally got your boy!"

Although I know it's just a sideways congratulations, I always take a peek at my 7-year-old, just to make sure she's okay. I never, ever want my girls to think we had to just deal with them till we got a boy, or that we kept trying till we got what we really wanted all along. I want them each to understand how loved they are, all of them, Declan too. Not for being boys or girls, but for being our children.

And believe it or not, when I now see a newborn baby girl, I miss it. I miss my baby girls. They will always hold a special spot in my imperfect heart because it was those girls that made me this mom. My little loves. My gifts. And now my little bonus gift is here, and life is not complete or perfect, it just goes on. And parenting continues, and newborns steal our sleep, and frustrating days still come and threaten sanity.

But we are a family. And I like it here.

Being Mother Gothel

My 5 year old, Emmy, loves Rapunzel. The movie Tangled is her absolute favorite. She's been obsessing about her October birthday with a lot of chatter surrounding her costume for Halloween and which new Rapunzel dress she wants to buy from the Disney store. She knows her stuff.

That's why I knew she had thought very carefully about this proposal she made me last night: "Mommy! For Halloween, you should be Mother Gothel! You would be a great Mother Gothel!"

With trepidation I invited her to tell me more about her great idea...

"Because, when you're mad, you look like her and you're just like her!"

Remember, she's very excited about this. Not at all trying to insult me, just trying to find the perfect Halloween costume. Bless her little heart.

But I'm a little horrified. Just a little. And sad that my daughter thought I could easily impersonate the evil villain-mother in her favorite Disney movie.

I tried to be really excited about her wonderful plan, but inside I was a a little upset. Obviously.

I went through a process of anger, then defensiveness, then acceptance. Of course I'm Mother Gothel. She's the only present mother in that whole film. Its mother Gothel who's in the thick of it! She may only keep Rapunzel around for her youth-inducing locks, but Rapunzel is not hurting for anything that I can tell. She has art supplies, baking ingredients, pretty dresses, and who is buying all the hair brushes and de-tangling hair products?? Mother Gothel, that's who.

So lets look at this realistically. Aside from having very selfish motives, are Mother's reactions really all that terrible?

I would probably get mad too if my daughter ran away with a guy she just met.

I would probably have an annoyed expression if my daughter asked me the same question over and over again, expecting that I would have changed my mind after saying "no" a zillion times.

I would also be reduced to a shriveled, writhing heap if my daughter chopped off all her beautiful long hair.

Just kidding on that last one. But it wouldn't be the best day ever.

So really, what mom hasn't at one point or another felt a little like Mother Gothel? Having those reactions doesn't make us the villain, it makes us the mom. I know we'd like to think we will always be calm and in control and would never behave like a Disney villain, but chances are, if you're a parent, you will find your limits tested. You will find that some days you're identifying with the villain, and sometimes with the loving, beautiful queen with a generous soul and a kind heart.

This week I may remind my sweet Emmy of Mother Gothel; but next week I'm betting I swing around to Fairy Godmother status.

Probably.