An Easter Stitch Fix

I got another Stitch Fix box!

I actually emailed the company because I had skipped my fix last month, and because March was the absolute worst (four kids, stomach flu and double pink-eye for 3 weeks), I was really needing a pick-me-up. Anyway, I asked them to send me my April fix just a little early. 

They very generously acquiesced, and I got it one week early.

I did get a fix for February, but I didn't document it. It wasn't terrible, but it wasn't awesome. I had asked for a flirty dress for Valentine's Day. I got a very heavy black dress with faux leather detailing, and I didn't even try it on. It was very nice and great quality, but not only could I not see myself wearing it in the upcoming spring, but my husband is not a fan of the faux leather trend.... And let's face it, I wanted a dress he would like to see me wear.

I kept one top out of that box, and while I initially didn't think I liked it at all, I ended up loving it! In fact, I wore it yesterday. It's a multi-colored chevron print dolman top by ReneeC (made in the USA):

I honestly would never have tried this on in the store. But once I tried it on, I didn't want to take it off. It's so soft and comfortable, and my husband immediately had positive things to say. It was a keeper.

Ok, on to my April fix! Here's a look at my invoice, style cards, and note from my stylist: 

As you can sort of see here (sorry for the blurry pic), I got a dress, a pair of skinny jeans, and 3 tops.

First, I tired on the dress. It's the Tenessy Maxi Dress by Angie, and I loved it. You guys. So soft. So stretchy. Super flattening. Last time I tried on a dress in this style, with that elastic waist bunching, I was not pleased. I had just had a baby, and it just kind of cut into my tummy pouch, and it was far from amazing. I don't know if it's the dress or me, but I loved this one:

The only problem is that it's a size medium, and I haven't changed my style profile to size small for dresses, and this is just a little too big. Even still, I seriously thought I might keep it. But in the end, if it wasn't exactly right I didn't want to spend the money. But the length is so perfect, isn't it?? I could wear flat sandals with it without stepping on the hem! Sigh. I sent it back.

The next items are the Kut from the Kloth Denna Skinny Jeans in light wash, and the Skies are Blue Keyhole Detail Blouse in Cobalt.

I don't love the bright cobalt color of the top, and the cut reminds me of business wear, but I tried it on. The stylist suggested I wear it with the (shown) Kut from the Kloth skinnies, with some gold accessories for a night out. I actually liked the top a lot better once I put it on. The fit is perfect. The color is beautiful. Still not "me." I can't really explain it. But it is a gorgeous top. Here's another angle, and you can see a close up of the neck detail; and you can see the back of the jeans as well:

So these jeans. They are okay. I don't know what it is about this brand, but the sizing always seems so huge. These are a size 4, and although the they don't look that huge, they are. They definitely feel like a 6 with room. They are very soft, very stretchy, and if only they were smaller and about 6 inches shorter, they would have been perfect. Yes, I rolled them up a lot for these pictures. They were really bunchy at my ankles, and that's not pretty.

Needless to say, I didn't keep either of these items. Now, on to the final two! Spoiler alert, I kept both of these tops:

First, the Papermoon Croatia Lace Bib Top. When I opened this box, I was wearing another top by Papermoon that I'd gotten in a previous Fix. I must really like this brand. And this one...it's perfect. I have been looking for a casual flowy top to wear with distressed jeans, and maybe shorts in the summer, and this one fits my criteria:

My only complaint, is the sheerness of it. But that can be remedied by a cami. It's a nice weight, great drape, and I love the lace detailing. It's also more of an antique white, and I love that.

Ok, the next one is kind of similar in style. The RD Style Embroidery Detail Top is so pretty too. However, initially I didn't think it would work for me, as these types of sleeveless tops can make even the most narrow-shouldered woman look like a line-backer. But it worked for me! And I love the embroidery detailing.

I have a visitor. And I wish I'd tried these tops on with my own jeans; I feel like these jeans are growing bigger with each photo.

She won't leave. I'm ignoring her. Here's a close up of the neckline:

And that's all, folks! The tops were in the $40-50 range, and with the $20 styling fee deduction, and some leftover credit on my account, I only paid about $24 for each top! So thank you to every one who signed up using my affiliate link!

If you haven't signed up yet, or you did sign up but haven't scheduled a fix yet, I really recommend the service. Click here to try it for yourself! 

Obviously, there's no obligation to continue or "commit" after you try it, if you decide it's not for you. Read my last post for more information on the service and why I love it.

Thanks for reading, friends, and Happy Easter weekend!

Stitch Fix Unboxing: Marked Up Mommy Style

Warning: I'm a mom. This blog post will not contain amazing fashion blog-style photos or perfect hair and make up. I use my iPhone 4s to take selfies and that's not ideal, I understand this. Now that you've been warned, I will continue.

I got my 6th Stitch fix box today!! It's exciting, it's fun, it's like a present, man. And I love presents.

But aside from the present thing, there are a few practical reasons why I continue to get regular Stitch Fix boxes.

I'm a mom of 4 kids. 2 of my kids are in school, one is preschool age, and the baby is 10 months. I bring this up for two reasons: first, my body has been altered. I am no longer a size 4, flat-chested, no lumps or bumps kind of girl. I can't just pull an outfit off the rack at the Gap and look amazing in it. I. Must. Try. Things. On. Annoying, I know, but there it is, the life of a grown woman.

This brings me to the second reason I bring up my state of parenthood. I literally can't successfully shop (i.e., try on clothes) without some kind of break down. And I'm not talking about my 4 year old. So I end up snagging a few cute things when I can, trying them on at home, then making a trip back to the mall to make returns or exchanges because (of course) something(s) didn't work like I expected them to.

What's worse is sometimes I'm too busy, or tired, or I just refuse to go back and make a return with my two adorable children who are hell-bent on keeping me from ever having a decent pair of jeans. I used to love shopping. Sigh.

But I digress.

My box came and it looked like this:

Isn't it cute?? Ok, it's just a box. I know, just humor me. But then I opened it, and it looks like this:

What you see here is the instructions on the upper box flap, and then everything you see when you open it. There's a card from my stylist and an invoice in the envelope, there's a postage paid mailer to send back whatever I don't keep, and then my stack of clothes wrapped in tissue. I usually look in the envelope first. Some people avoid looking at the prices until they check out their items, but I just can't. Price is definitely a factor for me, and I don't want to fall in love with something that's way out of my budget. What's great about this service, however, is that if your boxes are too expensive for your liking (I expect at least one item to be priced above average), you can leave appropriate feedback when you check out online. Next time, they will know that a $70 shirt just isn't going to make you a happy lady. 

So here's everything:

Ahhh!!! Look at my stuff!! (Please excuse the blurry phone pic)

In this box, I got a gray stretchy hi-lo tee by Market and Spruce, a soft jersey knit cardigan by Splendid, a pair of boyfriend jeans by Kut from the Kloth, a striped knit infinity scarf, and a soft knit hoodie top thing by Sanctuary. What I love about these brands is that a lot of them are made in the USA or are local boutique brands. 

I love that all the clothes come with styling cards, to give you an idea of how to wear each piece (for fashion novices such as myself). You have 3 days to figure out what you want to keep, so spend that time trying the clothes on with other items in your wardrobe. I'm lucky because my boxes have been coming on a Thursday or Friday, and the 3 day rule doesn't apply to the weekend. So I usually have until Monday to "check out."

Here's my pretty clothes as they came to me:

The gray tee is hiding in there between the jeans and the blue cardigan. 

I did try things on, so you can see how they look on. However, remember my pictures are super lame. I'm sharing them anyway because it's good motivation for me to upgrade my phone or use a better location for next time. 

I took a shower. I worked out, so I really needed a shower, but then I didn't have time to do anything with my hair or face because I had dumped the baby on my husband who was supposed to be working from home that day. He was very happy about that. 

Here's the Market & Spruce tee and the boyfriend jeans. I've been seeing this tee show up in other fixes and have wanted it for so long. I'm keeping it. Soft, stretchy, flattering. Looks like it will wear well and can be dressed up or down.

The jeans are super comfortable and fit perfectly. Although $78 isn't a terrible price for nice denim, I have a couple pairs of boyfriend jeans that I love right now, and so I don't need these. 

Next was the scarf. I went and threw it on with this same outfit: 

Not the best angle, but it's just a basic infinity scarf. Great piece and would go with quite a lot, but I don't need it. I got a lot of scarves for Christmas. Also, I can't help but think I could knit this myself quite easily.

Next, the hoodie:

I probably would have kept this is it wasn't almost $80. For a top. I would easily spend that on a nice dress or a pair of jeans, but this is a thin knit hoodie in a strange orangey color. So, no thank you. It's a very nice brand and made in the USA, hence the price. I might look around elsewhere for something similar as this could work well in the summer for vacations on the lake. I did like it, just not enough.

Next, another very pricey, almost $80 cardigan:

Splendid is a great brand. The fabric was amazingly nice, so soft and stretchy. But again, not worth the price to me. Just a basic tab-sleeve cardigan, nothing fancy or unique about it.

So let's break it down. The Stitch Fix service fee is $20. I paid that when they shipped the box to me (linked to my debit card). However, if I purchase something in the box, I deduct that fee from the total price. You can look at it two ways: either the service really ends up being free, or you are getting an item for $20 off the retail price. Then, if you decide to buy the whole box of items (and I did once), you get 25% off the entire purchase, plus the $20 deduction for the fee you already paid. If you love it all, it really does end up being worth it. If I had bought this whole box, the jeans would have been free. 

If you don't like anything, or nothing fits (this has never happened to me), you are out the $20 styling fee. It's a gamble, but the odds are really in your favor.

So, all I kept this time was the gray tee but I love it. It was a $44 top, minus the $20 fee, so $24 for a top that I love, that I didn't have to search for among racks of items with kids climbing through my legs or yelling because they are hungry. I also didn't make any impulse purchases on stuff I didn't need or didn't end up fitting because I was too overwhelmed to even try anything on.

Completely worth it. Completely.

If you want to try the service out, feel free to use my referal link. I do get a little credit if you sign up and get a fix shipped to you. Click here --->

Also, thanks for reading this lengthy blog post. Next time I will give you prettier photos. Or maybe I won't. Now you know this is me. I'm really a busy mom who barely has time to shower. Or take pictures outside while roses bloom to my right. Or when the lighting is perfectly aligned with the arch of my cheekbone. 

You're welcome, and happy Stitch Fixing!

Once Upon a Time

Once upon a time, there was a girl. She loved to cook. She loved to eat. Se loved to dine.

When the girl got married, she lovingly cooked dinner for her husband, nearly every night. She delighted in making grocery lists and menus. She tried new dishes and experimented with different ingredients every week.

And dare I say, she was a fabulous cook? Her meals were delicious, rich, and enjoyable. And each stir, chop, baste and broil -- done with love and care. Not only did she love the food she worked with, she loved serving it and watching others enjoy it.

She enjoyed eating too! Soon, she became schooled in wines and how to pair them with food, and she delighted in pouring a glass to sip and savor while eating a lovely meal with her husband or whomever she had cooked for.

The secret that the girl kept to herself (most of the time), was that cooking was never work for her; never did it feel like a chore. When life got her down, or minor stressors of the day wore her out, she cooked. When she was sad, or feeling lonely, she cooked. When she was bored, or needed a creative outlet, she cooked.

In about 9 years, this "foodie" girl would be a mother to 4 young children. She'd always longed to be a mommy, to have babies with the love of her life; and she was living her dream.

But a love for cooking and babies do not coexist. They simply cannot. She did not know this. She still tries to make menus, between scoldings and naps. But most of the time no menu is made; and new recipes are no longer a luxury. She abides by what is tried and true. Even so, no meal is made and eaten laudably. The little diners voice their concerns and discontent without hesitation. They are not intrigued by delicate herbs, and they don't seem to appreciate the sear of the meat. Don't they know, color is flavor? Or is color instead poison, and she was the one who had been misinformed?

Once upon a time, wine was an intentional addition to a meal. Now, a glass is poured while the cooking ensues, as the baby pulls her legs and cries to be held. She doesn't take the time to swirl and smell, instead she sips...sips...sips some more, and cuddles the baby after the pan is deglazed and the butter is no longer spatting. Cooking has become a mixture of stress and fear. Fear of kids getting burned, stress that the meal will burn while she races to save the baby from consuming the cat's food, more fear as the little ones make loud noises upstairs and she worries for their safety as the food sizzles and she must choose between overdone root vegetables and her children.

She still loves to cook. If you ask her, she will say so. But cooking is not what it used to be, and neither is eating. She serves all, makes a quick plate, then there is a call for drinks, and she gets the drinks too. They don't care whether their milk pairs well with their pasta. She finally sits, maybe nurses her baby while gingerly balancing a bite over her child (fear -- is it okay to eat hot food over a baby's head?) and into her hungry mouth.

Her husband, the love of her life, is always pleased with the meal, but often adds extra salt. And she wonders if it was because she had to fish cat food from the baby's cheek when she would have otherwise been testing the dish for flavor. But all is well, because she always gets a kiss, and a thank you, and a compliment. He knows it's harder now, than it used to be. He remembers, too, the romantic meals with ambiance and eye contact. But he's grateful that she still cooks, and she still tries to get creative when she otherwise might be calling for take-out, because she knows something...

One day the kids will be grown, and cooking will be easy and maybe fun again, and romantic meals may not be so hard to come by. And the babies will be gone. And there will be no more complaints from picky palates; but there will also no longer be silly giggles, and baby snuggles, and washing little hands, and a sense of accomplishment when they all liked dinner and ate it. And life will be quiet again. And cooking will be fun again. But the kids will be gone.

And the Once Upon a Time Girl will be older, and the story of the past will be the story of how once dinner was complicated, and cooking was a struggle, and babies were under foot, and life was crazy and equally wonderful. And she will miss it. So all the mess, and stress, and fear, and ungratefulness, and under-seasoned entree, and balancing of baby and bite, it's all worth it.

Because this is her life, this is her dream come true.

Three Girls and The Boy

We call him "The Boy." Even the girls do it now.

After three beautiful baby girls, I never thought we'd have a boy. If you read back in my blog entries, you will find a post on my "gender disappointment" upon finding out we were having our third daughter, Ivey. Our crazy, wild, amazing Ivey-girl. We love her.

Still, it took some finesse, convincing my husband we could have one more. Just ONE. Four kids would be it, I promised. Still, Ivey was well past her 3rd birthday when we conceived. A four year gap wasn't what I'd had in mind, but having the girls smooshed into existence within a three-year time frame was busy. Very busy. And tiring.

And as much as I wanted him, a son, a boy for my husband, a brother for my daughters... AS MUCH AS I LONGED FOR IT... I knew there would always be something else, who knew what, that I would also want, that I would beg for, that I would be sure would make me truly happy. It's a horrible, but all too familiar cycle that we humans insist on putting ourselves through.

I didn't want to admit I could really think that way, but I knew it was true. And before we had or attempted to have our little fourth being, I knew I had to be okay with a girl. Not just okay, but ready, willing, wanting another girl. I would not go into this pregnancy like the last one. I would not allow myself to grieve a girl.

And so I prayed. Prayer is often not for the One we pray to, as much as it's a way for our own hearts to settle; a way for us to love Him and so love ourselves. A way for us to show willingness to be changed.

So I prayed that I would have a baby. Not a boy, or a girl, just a baby. God knew my heart. I could not deceive Him, even if I'd tried. And my wants changed.

I became grateful. I saw my girls, and the joy they brought, and the love they shared, and the differences they each brought to our world, and I knew I'd be happy with another. Another PERSON. People are mysterious, and amazing, and unique, and that God has allowed us to make them just blows my mind.

But this time, we had that boy. And you know what? He isn't the end-all. I'm not "complete" with him  because he's a boy. I love him so much that it hurts -- because he's my baby.

And part of me is a little angry at the stranger in the grocery store for making that insightful, albeit thoughtless,

comment: "Three girls and one boy! You finally got your boy!"

Although I know it's just a sideways congratulations, I always take a peek at my 7-year-old, just to make sure she's okay. I never, ever want my girls to think we had to just deal with them till we got a boy, or that we kept trying till we got what we really wanted all along. I want them each to understand how loved they are, all of them, Declan too. Not for being boys or girls, but for being our children.

And believe it or not, when I now see a newborn baby girl, I miss it. I miss my baby girls. They will always hold a special spot in my imperfect heart because it was those girls that made me this mom. My little loves. My gifts. And now my little bonus gift is here, and life is not complete or perfect, it just goes on. And parenting continues, and newborns steal our sleep, and frustrating days still come and threaten sanity.

But we are a family. And I like it here.

Being Mother Gothel

My 5 year old, Emmy, loves Rapunzel. The movie Tangled is her absolute favorite. She's been obsessing about her October birthday with a lot of chatter surrounding her costume for Halloween and which new Rapunzel dress she wants to buy from the Disney store. She knows her stuff.

That's why I knew she had thought very carefully about this proposal she made me last night: "Mommy! For Halloween, you should be Mother Gothel! You would be a great Mother Gothel!"

With trepidation I invited her to tell me more about her great idea...

"Because, when you're mad, you look like her and you're just like her!"

Remember, she's very excited about this. Not at all trying to insult me, just trying to find the perfect Halloween costume. Bless her little heart.

But I'm a little horrified. Just a little. And sad that my daughter thought I could easily impersonate the evil villain-mother in her favorite Disney movie.

I tried to be really excited about her wonderful plan, but inside I was a a little upset. Obviously.

I went through a process of anger, then defensiveness, then acceptance. Of course I'm Mother Gothel. She's the only present mother in that whole film. Its mother Gothel who's in the thick of it! She may only keep Rapunzel around for her youth-inducing locks, but Rapunzel is not hurting for anything that I can tell. She has art supplies, baking ingredients, pretty dresses, and who is buying all the hair brushes and de-tangling hair products?? Mother Gothel, that's who.

So lets look at this realistically. Aside from having very selfish motives, are Mother's reactions really all that terrible?

I would probably get mad too if my daughter ran away with a guy she just met.

I would probably have an annoyed expression if my daughter asked me the same question over and over again, expecting that I would have changed my mind after saying "no" a zillion times.

I would also be reduced to a shriveled, writhing heap if my daughter chopped off all her beautiful long hair.

Just kidding on that last one. But it wouldn't be the best day ever.

So really, what mom hasn't at one point or another felt a little like Mother Gothel? Having those reactions doesn't make us the villain, it makes us the mom. I know we'd like to think we will always be calm and in control and would never behave like a Disney villain, but chances are, if you're a parent, you will find your limits tested. You will find that some days you're identifying with the villain, and sometimes with the loving, beautiful queen with a generous soul and a kind heart.

This week I may remind my sweet Emmy of Mother Gothel; but next week I'm betting I swing around to Fairy Godmother status.

Probably.

Make Something Monday

It's summer (yay?), and like any mostly organized mother of 4, I've called upon the Pinterest gods for help. And The Lord God. Pinterest gives me practical suggestions, and Jesus gives me peace for my soul. Also a win. Anyway, here's the gem of a "schedule" I found to help guide me while the kids are home all day expecting me to entertain and amuse them:

                                           

Have you seen those schedules that plan out every minute of every day, starting at 8:00am and ending at bedtime? Yeah, I didn't "pin" anything like that. It's summer, not prison. 

So I started this weekly guide on Monday. It was "Make Something Monday" and I had already told my eldest about my plan to do this daily rhyming schedule thing, so it was a go. Because this kid forgets nothing. I've had past hopes that she would, but alas, no such luck.

For Make Something Monday I decided to set myself up for failure and teach my 4, 5, and almost 7-year-old girls how to do the basic knit stitch. As you can imagine, this did not go as planned. I started each girl out with a ball of pretty scrap yarn and a set of bamboo needles. It ended with me telling them just to squish the yarn in their hands and feel how soft it was. Then my 5 year old decided to pretend to knit, and she enjoyed that for about a minute. And in the end I had dowloaded a pattern for a small chameleon lizard because someone decided her green yarn reminded her of Pascal from Tangled and I should knit her one.

Then, just because I didn't want Make Something Monday to be a complete fail, I made this:

                                   

I ate that missing piece of course. It was the only way. I have to test these things. Also, please cover your chocolate cake when you put it in the refrigerator. As you can see here, I didn't do that. Probably because my infant was crying, or I was eager to eat cake, or for some other reason I'm not sure of. Later on I did cover it, because it had started to dry out (obviously).

Stay tuned for "Take a Trip Tuesday," it's sure to be epic!

Hormones, Womanhood, and Living

It's about to get real up in here. (said in my very white-girl vernacular)

When I was 12 I started my period. (told you)

It was horrifying. I refused to leave the house for a week. I curled up in an arm chair and wondered how women lived like this. I was ready to black-out my schedule every month that this evil beast made its appearance.

But my mom, God bless her, did something very wise -- and very difficult, I'm sure.

She looked at me, her crying, writhing-in-pain-and-hormonal-hell-daughter, and she told me I had that one week. I had that week only to cancel my lessons and activities, to hibernate and avoid all earthly contact. She gave me one week to succumb to my misery and feel sorry for myself for being a female.

But when that week was over, I had to live. Even if I felt terrible, or "gross," I had to get up and do stuff. I had to follow through with commitments and be normal anyway.

I hated her at the time.

But I think back to that often. She did an amazing thing. She probably wished she could shelter me from it all, I know I would if it were my daughter. But instead she taught me that being a woman meant that sometimes you'll feel out of control, hormonal, sick, whatever. And when you do, you take a moment, let yourself feel bad about it, and then get over it.

Now that I'm a mother, and currently a pregnant one, I've been realizing how much that lesson really taught me. It's not all about periods anymore; now it's more often about feeling depressed, or incompetent, sick, or just tired.

"Just" tired?? Ha, what a joke.

(When I wasn't pregnant) I would take a moment in the evening and have a glass of wine. Or a pint of ice cream. Or ignore the dishes and curl up on the couch with a good movie.

I would, and do, acknowledge that life is hard, being a woman, or a mother, or just a person, often leaves you wanting. Feel it. Give yourself a moment. And then move on.

Because people need me. People need you. The world needs us to live in it.

Here's what I don't want you to take from this: I don't want you to think that when you feel like crap, you just have to get over it. That's very destructive, and we as women are really good at inflicting that kind of harsh judgment on ourselves.

What I'm saying is, love yourself and acknowledge how you feel. It's very real. But don't stay there. That's not good either.